Is it a right or a privilege? Is it owed or earned?
I am writing this at a very important time of my life. It’s a little after midnight and we just finished the baby’s room…well almost. A few final touches will need to be made, but for the most part, it’s done. We decided not to find out the gender of our baby until he/she is born. We wanted to see God’s miracle all the way through.
There are repercussions for this decision, one of which are the ugly colors associated with not knowing. Brown, green, and yellow? Who picked those? We picked dark blue, orange, and gray instead. We put the crib together and installed beautiful specked gray carpet to go with the gray walls and bistro white trim. My wife got a few orange and blue accents; orange lamp shades and a blue throw rug. We also have a neat looking orange painting Heather did years ago. All this is leading up to one of the biggest events in our life, the birth of our first child. Yes, I am scared, excited, and at peace all at the same time.
Preparing for the “Forthcoming Event”
As we’ve been preparing for this “forthcoming event” ( that’s kind of an inside joke I will share with you later). There have been many days of getting ready, we cleaned out the spare room one day, then painted another. We built a murphy bed for the office since there would be no spare bedroom anymore. My father-in-law took an old desk completely apart, sanded and painted it to become our baby changing table. We registered, had a baby shower, had a surprise baby shower, oh and yes another baby shower. Don’t forget the all day Saturday and Sunday birthing class….
Preparations, preparations, preparations, it’s a fun and exhausting time.
I’m married, hardworking happily I would like to add. I say hardworking because a great marriage takes pure effort all the time, it has amazing challenges and rewards. It’s not like this for everyone, having a baby without the help of a strong, engaged spouse must be extremely difficult, and I wonder if there is joy in the preparation?
Never Have I experienced so many emotions at one time.
One of the biggest emotions and hardest to deal with (maybe why some guys run like the wind and leave their kids) is the one that says, “I can’t go back, there is no changing what has happened, and life will be forever different.” Again, I am super excited to have a baby, this was definitely a planned event in our life but reality is here and there is no going back.
Have I been scared…yes.
Have I wanted to run…a few times (but only a few).
Have I been excited beyond words…oh yeah!
Battling these emotions over the last 8 months has given me an understanding (not an excuse) of why many adult boys would run. Having a baby is no easy task even when you’re not the one carrying it or in an amazing marriage like mine. I can’t imagine the exponential difficulties for those who are pregnant or have had children without an amazing spouse on board.
Somebody is going to call me Daddy, oh man!
SO, in the whirl wind of preparation my father in law smacks me with a question I was not prepared for. It still rocks my world thinking about it. He said “ How do you feel now that someone is going to call you daddy?” Baseball bat to the face :). It struck me almost to tears.
A few minutes after he asked me if I was ready for someone to call me daddy, I realized it was not something I had thought about yet. An enormous something came over me, It was either a burden, a weight, a responsibility, really I am unsure of what it was. What keeps going through my mind is “How do we prepare boys to grow up to adult men. Men who can handle having a baby, sticking around, helping out, and being a father. A man who is worthy of the name Daddy?”
Preparation is more than getting stuff, it’s in your heart, mind, and character.
It was like an avalanche of joy came over me and a cold wave of fear, I have a responsibility even before my baby comes. After thinking a little more about it, it’s an honor to even think someone would love and respect me enough to call me daddy. I’m just about to cry right now thinking about it. Will my kid call me daddy? Will I earn it as his/her father? I may have planted the seed that made my little one but who I am will determine if my kid will call me daddy and mean it. In that moment I realized preparation is more than getting stuff, it’s in your heart, mind, and character. Are we preparing our boys to become daddy’s?
Are you worthy of being called Daddy?
This is a call out to all the grown up boys our there, are you worthy of being called Daddy? It’s not a right, it’s earned. When you are out there running around sticking you thing in every lady you can find, ask yourself “are you ready or worthy to be someone’s daddy?”
On the other hand, not every one of you grown up boys have become men and are humble enough to say, “I’m not sure if I am worthy enough, but I want to be.” these are the guys who will one day, make great fathers.
I hope I’m worthy.
I hope I’m worthy to be called daddy, I want to earn it by purely loving my “baby to be” everyday, teaching him/her about God, Jesus, and Joy.
For all the moms out there…
For the moms reading this post, I will not give guys an excuse for leaving. My prayer is you will talk to your son about the importance of becoming a great man, one who is worthy of someone, someday, calling him Daddy.